Wednesday, September 29, 2010

grandma Jane....day three

Well, I thought today was quieter with grandma, not much new to report.....that was until I caught her hurrying around the dining room table swatting at a fly, while people were eating....she's been pretty upset with that dumb fly all day.  She thought she had it at one point, but held back before she destroyed her grandson's dinner.

She kissed Katie goodnight and whispered as she hugged her: "I love you little, I love you big, I love you like a fat little pig!"

She was wondering about texting...since everyone in the family does it.....but then she thought again and said, "well, none of my friends do it....so why start now?"

Today she showed me the old oak tree where grandpa first asked her out, it was to a dance.  Grandma said, "well, you're the first one to ask me, so I'll go with you...and then grandpa said, 'well that's just great!' and then he ran off!"

We spent the evening with my great Aunt Sue (she's 85ish)...I tried to talk them into a road trip to Reno....they said they weren't up for it....tonight.....I'll ask tomorrow :)

At one point tonight I told grandma, "You gotta go big or you gotta go home."  She looked at me and said, "Yeah, I'll just go home."

She makes me laugh....nothing too fun down the disposal today....but we did hit Taco Bell again, after she got her "hair did".

Tomorrow is dry cleaners and the social security office.....I think we hit the end of new things to do in the routine, so I guess we just start over again.....

H :)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Yep, time with grandma...part deux

So, today I woke up with my Katie girl sprawled sideways across the bed....face up, her feet dangling over the edge of the bed and her head resting comfortably on my rear end (I was snoozin' on my stomach)...and the alarm woke us up because we had a busy day ahead of us.  We were officially out of bed at 8am this morning!!!!  Grandma was so surprised!

Things I'm learning about my grandma....she's smarter than I am.  She can't work the computer very well, or her cell phone, or the cable box, or her car.....but dang if that girl can't work a garbage disposal!  I have learned that just about everything goes down the garbage disposal.....food-some of it we were still eating, garbage (like egg shells, and chicken fat goobers), and pretty much everything else....she said the only thing she doesn't put down the disposal is corn husks and rhubarb, otherwise everything else is fair game!!  I watched her shove giant chunks of watermelon rind down it last night, she said, "it dances around a bit in the sink but I eventually get it down there!" as I giggled uncontrollably watching watermelon bits spewed all over the kitchen.

So, here's today in a nutshell:
-early start - up at 8 am is an early start for grandma
-farmer's market (to get unprocessed fresh foods for my uncle)
-holding hands with Katie and grandma to get thru parking lots is precious...and I'm sure we're a picture!
-visit to the foot doctor for grandma...where she told me the crazy story of my mom's birth in the waiting room and then I read her and Katie "SkippyJon Jones" (and used my best Mexican Chihuaha accent) to entertain grandma while the podiatrist tortured her (who would ever want to do that job?!)
-another trip to the grocery store to get actual processed foods (like hot dogs for Katie....shhh....don't tell Uncle Scott!)
-somewhere in our running around in a town I am unfamiliar with, getting directions from a woman who can't hear and often forgets which direction we should go Katie found grandma's umbrella in the backseat and decided to open it as we drove 70 miles an hour down Hwy 99.....yeah, that didn't go over well...but we survived, and Katie won't be opening umbrellas anytime soon :)  I don't care how hard it's raining!
-grandma and I snuck Cheetos for lunch before my health conscious Uncle showed up....(again, shhhh!)
-grandpa was cremated today, and he is currently resting in his old bedroom he had as a kid on the family ranch....that was bittersweet
-My pop and I figured out what song we're playing at the funeral service (me on the uke, Pop on his concertina and my sister's singing)....also bittersweet...

Oh, and the best part of the whole day was when my Uncle and I spent 20 minutes trying to print something off the computer at a font we could read, because the original copy we'd printed was tiny.  We finally succeeded after multiple cut, copy, paste attempts and walked into the living room to find grandma sitting with the original (too small font) document and a gigantic magnifying glass....she was just finishing up reading the article.....again, she's just too smart for me and I love her to pieces!

H :)

Monday, September 27, 2010

Yep, time with grandma...

Grandpa passed away last week....my mom, sisters and brother-in-law flew back home yesterday, and Katie and I are spending this next week with my 89 year old grandmother, so I thought I'd document some of my time with her.

Grandma is precious.  She can't hear very well at all, so I am amazed at the things I ask her, "Which way do I turn to get out to get out to Bruceville Rd?"  Her answer today, "Oh, no, those things just don't seem to happen anymore....I don't know why."  I eventually found Bruceville out of sheer luck....

She wanders around the house humming songs about chickens and fish....she tells stories about every place we drive past, and all the things in the town named after someone in the family....she likes her fiber and the crossword puzzle.  She loves gardenias, and to quack at the ducks in the park.

This was my day with Grandma Jane:
- up at 10:30
- shredded wheat breakfast and lots of giant vitamins at 11:00
- we called Social Security
- we "put our faces on"
- colored with Katie
- went to the dry cleaners
- took Katie to the park to feed the ducks, and so grandma could talk to them.....she doesn't like geese, so Katie spent time "shooing" them away yelling, "we don't like you, we didn't bring any food for you!" and grandma just laughed
- she leaned on the hood of the car watching Katie play on the slides and her pants stuck to the hood, she "left her mark" she said
- I thanked her for handing me a nectarine and she replied, "you are welcome as flowers in May....at least I think that's what they say..."
- we took two trips thru the Taco Bell drive thru....for extra lava sauce....grandma likes tacos....
- she attempted to discreetly toss her gum out the car window, she managed to fling it right into the side view mirror....that one should be fun to clean up later
- she took more pills and is now busy on her crossword, tonight is soup and we're planning dinner tomorrow night....I'm sure something with more fiber.....
- tonight I'm predicting a little Larry King Live and tylenol PM
- we'll mess with the thermostat because "grandpa used to run that"
- Katie and I will tuck her into bed tonight, just like we've done every night since we've been here....

Goodness I love her....she makes me laugh, and I'm sure the tears will be coming more and more....I am so happy to be here with her.  And I am sure more Grandma Jane-isms will be on the way.

H :)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

So, I've got a story for you...

I flew to California today, finally getting time with my family, finally able to hug my grandma after losing my grandpa.  It's so surreal to be here, everything reminds of him, it's wonderful to be in their house but I keep expecting him to walk down the hall.  

My grandpa's name was David.  He was a very kind, well-educated man, who loved people and could start a conversation with anyone.  In fact, if we ever were held up waiting for him, it's because he'd found someone with a similar interest (in just about anything) and he was busy just enjoying this new friend's company.

I flew out with Katie today on her 4th birthday.  She wore new sparkly, light up shoes and a crown that said, "Birthday Princess."  She was a pretty popular attraction strolling through three different airports with her princess backpack.  As we were about to board the flight from Portland to Sacramento, I walked over to the family boarding area and waited in line.  There was a kind older gentleman, dressed in a suit and tie, reading the newspaper.  He noticed us waiting, set down his paper, leaned over to Katie and said, "My goodness you are a pretty little girl in your pink crown and sparkly shoes."  He started up a lovely conversation with my little girl.  He asked if she liked to play soccer, asked all about her favorite princesses, and asked about her big brother.  Katie volunteered that we were traveling to see grandma, because grandpa had passed away.  The gentleman said, "you know, I'm sorry he's gone, but I bet he's in heaven and looking down on you and I bet he's very proud of you in your little crown today."  He wanted to know all about her birthday and what kind of cake she wanted.  Throughout the conversation he would look up at me and smile, just to make sure it was okay to keep talking to her.  It was obvious he was enjoying her company.  

Soon, they called for us to board the plane.  The gentleman said, "I hope you have a nice visit with your family and a wonderful birthday."  As we started to walk away he looked at her one more time and said, "You know what?  We never introduced ourselves....what's your name?"  My daughter looked at him and said, "My name's Katie."  He reached out to shake her hand and said, "Katie, it was nice talking to you, I'm David."  

Must be something in that name....  miss you grandpa.....

H :)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Yeah, I'm gonna change my name to "The Master of Disaster"

So, this has been the last week. 

-Infected blister followed by antibiotics they only give large farm animals
-Mole removal....still questionable
-My world is rocked when my grandpa passes away
-Husband out of town
-Dog keeps trying to run away
-The car is making weird noises and two of the four door handles are broken off
-Every closet in my house has chosen to vomit it's belongings
-My daughter is a booger magnet
-My son decided to see what it feels like to be a light bulb
-The new underwear I got, I hate, and I can't take it back
-Walmart sucks

However, all of this has been written in the time it took me to boil mac and cheese for my little lightening rod and mucus maker....yeah, that's right, I'm the master of disaster....any contenders?!

Oh, and I speak sarcasm fluently.

H :)

Monday, September 20, 2010

Yeah, I am not a vending machine....

So, I'm helping my son with his homework. it's been a long day and I try to escape to use the restroom.  I just click the lock when his homework comes sliding under the door. 

"Mom, is this right?"

"Hang on buddy, I'll look in just a second."

Now he's on his stomach, yelling at me through the crack...."but, is it right?!"

"Can I have a minute to go to the bathroom and then I'll look at it?"

"But I just want to know if it's right?  I can't read!"

"I know you can't read....but I am not a vending machine....you can't just shove things in the slot and expect to get something in return!"

I push the homework back out from my side of the door and turn around only to find a small set of 4 year old fingers poking under the door...."Mom, how many fingers do I have?" 

My response, "you have all of them now....unless you want to lose one of them, I'd back away from the door...."

As the fingers retreated I just kept thinking....I am not a vending machine......

Friday, September 17, 2010

So, it's hard to put on mascara while you're crying...

My grandpa passed away suddenly last night.  Actually, it was early this morning, sometime after 1am.  My mom called at 2:33 to let me know his heart had essentially given out.  I think I understand why....he gave a lot of it away. He was a very loving man....my brain keeps taking me back to being about 10 years old, staying at their house and scared of the dark, and him singing me to sleep.....

So, today stinks.  I am tired and numb, but have been greatly comforted.  I spent time with my Abba last night, He came and got me, when I couldn't sleep and couldn't talk and was nothing, He sought me out,  He comforted me, and gave me His peace......He is good.

This morning I realized this next week will be crazy and everything's up in the air.  I checked my phone and by the time I was done contacting my closest friends, my community, my girls, I had contacted about 30 people.....I am overwhelmed.  None of them knew my grandpa....but they love me, so they love him too.  I know have at least 30 sets of ears to hear and shoulders ready to sop up my blubbering, when this all finally hits.  I am overwhelmed and grateful.  I am in pain, but I know I am not alone, and that's my hope. 

I didn't start this blog for this purpose.  But if I'm going to be about "bugs in salads" type conversation I'd better be willing to go for the hard stuff. 

My mascara looks terrible.....

I miss my grandpa.....

Thursday, September 16, 2010

So, here’s a life motto for you…

I have been sick for the past couple of days and of course I am the only one sick around here, so between my cold and all of my “wound care” (yeah, see previous blog)…..our house has been looking more like a scene out of “Lord of the Flies” as my good friend Cassi would say.  Seriously, if I’m not planning, making, coordinating….the small people might start to eat each other as soon as they run out of poptarts. 

Last night, one child woke me up because he was scared, so he went and crashed on the couch, the other child came down a few hours later because she wet the bed, and my husband got up around 4:30 to head off to  a men’s ministry event, so then one of the small people headed in to my room as soon as dad bailed and it was over from there.  I took Nyquil to get a good night’s sleep, but that obviously didn’t happen….so as 8am rolled around today I was still too out of it, it was what I call a “just throw a hat on it” kinda day. 

“Throw a hat on it” days are decently common for me, it’s the “yeah, I stayed up too late watching 30 Rock reruns in the DVR” look, or “um, I’m not fully prepared for today’s meeting, so I choose to read over hygiene, “ or my personal favorite, “I just make this hat look good!” 

So today was a “throw a hat on it” day, because I don’t think I would have trusted myself with a curling iron seeing as how I was still in some state of my Nyquil induced coma.  Believe it or not, I got kid numero uno to school right as the bell rang, I led two ministry groups, got one kidlet to football practice, and coasted thru back to school night.  Not too bad for a “throw a hat on it” day.  

Maybe tomorrow I'll go with the fedora...... :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

So, I go to the doctor....

I'm new at this blogging thing....I mean I actually had to go to Wikipedia and figure out what "blogging" actually was, and then I had friends send me links to blogs they follow and I thought....I could do that!  So, here I am, posting and stuff. 

Anyway, I go to the doctor today just to get a prescription refilled and I show her a mole on my shoulder that's irritating because it's itching, and it's driving me crazy!  So, she takes a look at it and immediately has the "yeah, that's not good" expression going on all over her face.  So, she says, "let's just biopsy that bad boy today, right now" (okay, that's not verbatum, but it's close enough).  Then I tell her I have a blister I'd gotten after a 3 mile walk the other day that's really irritated and hurts like crazy.....she takes a look at that and says, "yeah, that's not good, you need antibiotics and we need to 'slough' off the top layer to get the infection out of it."

Um, I was moderately okay with the mole thing....not so bad, but the blister thing, I was ready to crawl into a corner and say, "you never saw me, or my nasty ol' blister....," of course, by then it's too late, I need to man up and take care of these things.  The trouble was I had brought my 4 year old daughter, Katie, with me, thinking I was only doing the prescription thing.... not thinking the poor kid was going to be subjected to her mother's whining and body fluids and major surgery, for crying out loud!!! 

They moved me to another room and Katie held my hand, and counted on her fingers and told me a story....she was great.  The blister was the worst part of the whole experience of course, but thankfully Katie prevented me from biting off a chunk of the table or anything- I was really glad she was there.  Didn't think a 4 year-old could provide moral support, did ya? 

Tonight I'm trying not to stress over my creepy mole dilemma.  It's out of my hands and my control and I just get to wait patiently.  I can choose to be a stressball of ulcers, or choose to continue to allow myself to trust in the Lord, the one who knit me together in my mother's womb.....it's just a mole......

I can also check out my cool blister scar and pop a few antibiotics and call it good for a night.  So, goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow. :)  (Oh, I'm kind of a freak about Saturday Night Live.....guilty pleasure, what can I say.....)

So, there's a bug in my salad, and other awkward conversations...

There's a bug in my salad, and other awkward conversations....

So, this is my favorite question to ask people.  You're at a friends house, having a nice dinner they have prepared for you and you notice there is a bug in your salad.....what do you do?  Dun, dun, duuuuunnn!!!

People have had lots of answers for me, some want to dispose of the evidence and never talk about the problem.  Others whip it out, lay it on the table and want to hash it out right then and there.  I have heard some qualify there answer with, "Well, it depends on how close of a friend they are..." or, "I would probably talk to my friend, but never a family member about it."  I think the qualification makes them feel better.

I myself would scoop out the bug, make sure it's dead, pull my host aside, tell her the story of how I found the bug, show it to her, and laugh hysterically.....that's just how I roll.  I'm completely useless in most important situations (especially the ones where someone has fallen down), mostly because I'm laughing too hard.  I'm laughing hysterically, probably snorting and bent over, making some kind of attempt to stop, but only making it worse.  Yeah, I'm that sad.  And I know there are people out there who are just like me.  Let's get the yucky stuff in our relationship out of the salad and onto the table and let's have a good laugh and later a good story we can exaggerate about and expand upon....the infamous night of the stalker tomato bug!

I thought I'd start a blog to talk about stuff that happens to me.  I am a wife (for 9 plus years), and mom of two great kiddos.  I will refer to Robin and Katie (my kidlets) often, so get used to it.  I have the wonderful priveledge of staying home with my children and volunteering in ministry....also something I will refer to frequently.  Life isn't always easy, or fun, or clean, or pretty, or booger-free, or sanitized, or dusted....it just is, and it should be filled with joy.   "Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn." Rom 12:15.  Most days it's either laugh or cry, and some days its both.  But, to end the day on a good laugh and to find joy in the mundane is something I can offer, so here we go.....starting up a blog, and watch out for bugs in the salad....
 
 
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1:26:00 PMby Heidi